going to ask the question that gets asked here every few months, and i am aware of that, but i would like actual answers rather than the usual two camps shouting.
man, 41, four months on two sites. i have sent a lot of messages. i have had, at a generous count, six replies that went past two exchanges and one meeting that did not lead anywhere.
everywhere i look, the men are saying it is impossible and the women are saying the men are doing it wrong. and both of those cannot be entirely true, or at least i cannot see how.
what i want to know, from people on both sides of it, is which parts of this are actually structural and which parts are me. because if it is structural i can adjust my expectations and stop taking it personally. and if it is me then i would genuinely like to be told what, in detail, because four months of silence teaches you absolutely nothing.
please do not make this the usual thread. i have read the usual thread.
