my system: if a chat survives a few days and i can picture myself meeting the person, i suggest a short video call. ten minutes, cameras on, no agenda. to me this is basic. it confirms a human, it confirms the photos, it saves both of us from the pen pal trap.
the reactions though. some people say sure, no fuss, lovely. a noticeable number act like i requested a notarised document. one match last week said video feels really intense this early and then unmatched me the next day. we had been talking for five days at that point and were discussing which cafe.
so now i’m second guessing my calendar. is week one actually early? do you count in days or in message depth? and does anyone else find that the people most offended by a ten minute call are exactly the people you most needed the call for?
