An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

Signed out. You are reading, not posting. Log In Sign Up

Switches Noord, Amsterdam

Non binary, which is the least interesting thing written here

Posted as not_the_subject

Looking for
competence rather than curiosity, and one person for both directions
Experience
Five years, led when planned, followed when not.
Around
Noord, Amsterdam

I am non binary, which is the least interesting thing in this post, and it has to go near the top or it becomes the whole of the first conversation and I lose an evening.

Twenty nine, switch, Noord, five years in, working somewhere unglamorous during the day and doing something else in the evenings that I will tell you about eventually.

What I want: one person, ongoing, both directions. I lead when it has been planned and I follow when it has not, which I understand is backwards from the way most people describe themselves. Structure suits me. Surprises suit me considerably less than I once believed they did.

What I would like from you is competence rather than education. I do not want to be somebody's first experience of a person like me, and I do not want to spend the early weeks answering questions a search engine would handle. Curiosity does not offend me. I am simply tired, in the particular way that comes of having the same conversation for eleven years.

I can host sometimes, which in this city makes me practically a landowner. Not looking for anyone who has to establish what I am before deciding whether they are attracted to me. Not looking for a person who will use the wrong words and then need managing about it. Not looking for anything that has to stay secret, because I have done that and it made me miserable in a way I only understood later.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

Before you answer this

The handbook covers the part that comes next. These three are the ones that matter to a post like this one.

Also in Amsterdam

All posts in Amsterdam →

You have read one. Now write one.

Write a post like this where the people reading it are near you, and answer the ones that are already there.

Write your post Already a member? Log in