An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches the east, Amsterdam

I get sent away at short notice and it has cost me twice

Posted as two_days_notice

Looking for
somebody with a full life of their own who is genuinely fine with gaps
Experience
Six years, both directions, one dynamic of two years.
Around
the east, Amsterdam

Twice in the last three months I have cancelled on somebody with two days' notice because I was on a plane. It is not an excuse, it is the job, and I have learned that people who mind never say they mind. They simply become slightly less available.

Thirty one, switch, in the east, six years in. I work for an organisation that responds to things, which means I know my schedule right up until I abruptly do not, and then I am gone for anything between four days and a month.

I need somebody for whom that is genuinely workable. Not somebody who says it is fine in week one and is quietly counting by week nine. It helps enormously if you have a full life of your own, because the gaps are real and there is no version of this where they are not.

I switch roughly evenly and I prefer a dynamic with a clear structure, precisely because structure survives an absence better than anything improvised does.

When I am here I am very much here, and I am free at short notice in a way most people are not. Not looking for anybody who wants constant contact, since there are places I go with no signal at all. Not looking for a person who will need reassurance about where I am. Not looking to be told I should get a different job, which two people have said and which ended the conversation on the spot.

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