BDSM personals in Amsterdam
Amsterdam is the smallest city on this board and the most open about all of it. Distance barely exists here, which removes the excuse every other board leans on, so posts get straight to what somebody actually wants. The housing squeeze is the real constraint: a lot of people share, or sublet, or live somewhere they cannot host, and they say so in the first paragraph. The international turnover is high and visible.
Posts come from the west, the east, Noord, the south and the ring. People lead with where they are for a reason.
Dominants in Amsterdam
People looking to lead, and saying what that means to them.
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Three people have called me too soft for this and they are wrong
Looking for: somebody who wants authority without any cruelty in it
Ten years, three dynamics, none of them loud.
Three people have now told me I am too soft to be a dominant. Two of them meant it as criticism. I have thought about it honestly and concluded that they are describing something real and are wrong about what it means.
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This used to be most of my life and now it is one evening
Looking for: a submissive who wants something weekly, serious and contained
Twenty five years, a long burnout in the middle, four years back.
For about eight years this was most of my life. Everything outside work was arranged around it, and I burned out of it in a way I did not recognise at the time and would now call fairly obvious.
Submissives in Amsterdam
People looking to submit, on terms they set out first.
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One hour a week, same day, same time, for years
Looking for: a standing weekly arrangement and explicitly not a relationship
Twenty three years, four arrangements, all of them regular.
One hour a week, on the same day, at the same time, indefinitely. Not a relationship. Not building towards a relationship. One hour, held properly, for years.
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She knew me without my having to explain, and that is what I miss
Looking for: a dominant woman patient enough to learn somebody twice learned
Twenty six years with one person, eighteen of them structured.
My wife died two years ago in March. She led, for eighteen of the twenty six years we had, and what I miss is not any particular thing we did. It is that she knew exactly what I was for, and I never once had to explain myself inside my own house.
Switches in Amsterdam
People who go both ways and want a partner who can follow.
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Blunt post, short sentences, and no adjectives to speak of
Looking for: one person, both directions, agreed in advance and weekly
Four years, both sides, nothing longer than a year.
Blunt post. Short sentences. Very few adjectives. I have written three long ones and all three attracted people who liked the writing. Then we met and it turned out they wanted a paragraph rather than a person.
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Four years here and my whole social life is one employer
Looking for: people who do this, and a dynamic only if one grows out of that
Sixteen years, mostly leading these days.
Every single person I know in this country I met through work. All of them. Four years here and my entire social world is one company and its leaving parties, which is a fine way to have colleagues and a poor way to have a life.
Couples in Amsterdam
Partners searching together, with both of them in the post.
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One room, a landlord downstairs, and nowhere to put anybody
Looking for: one submissive woman for something regular, wherever it can happen
Three years between the two of us, nobody else ever involved.
We have one room with a bed in it, a landlord who lives downstairs, and a sublet arrangement we would rather nobody examined too closely. That is our contribution to any evening: nothing whatsoever. We have nowhere to put anybody.
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Both contracts end in fourteen months and we are posting anyway
Looking for: a dominant woman who is willing to agree to a finish date
Four years together, two years each in this, no meetings yet.
Both of our contracts finish in fourteen months and neither will be renewed. We will almost certainly leave the country. We are posting anyway, and putting it in the first line, because the alternative is spending our last year here being careful about nothing.
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Two of us, one dominant, and two entirely separate arrangements
Looking for: one dominant willing to run two dynamics that never meet
Four years each, two joint attempts, both of them awkward.
We are both submissive and we are both looking for the same dominant, but not together. We want separate dynamics with one person, run separately, and we have thought about this a great deal more than that sentence makes it sound.
Writing your own
Reading fifty of these is the easy half. The handbook covers the rest.
- Writing a profile that says something
- Photographs, and staying anonymous enough
- The safety basics, in one page
- What a first meeting is actually like
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Write yours in Amsterdam
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