I lead men and women, and I have stopped explaining it every time
Posted as both_and_thats_that
- Looking for
- one person, either, for something ongoing and fairly formal
- Experience
- Seven years, four dynamics, two of each and no difference worth reporting.
- Around
- the Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham
Roughly one message in three opens with some version of asking me to account for it. Whether I have a preference. Whether I am really interested in the other. Whether I would consider being exclusive to whichever one the writer happens to be. Seven years in, I have answered it often enough to know that the answer is boring: no difference, no preference, next question.
Thirty one, the Jewellery Quarter, four dynamics behind me of between eight months and three years.
What I actually care about is temperament. I want somebody who takes instruction seriously, who tells me the truth when it is inconvenient to do so, and who has enough spine that being led is a decision rather than a default setting. I have had exactly that from a very shy man in his fifties and from a woman of twenty six who argued with me about everything except the things that mattered.
I run things fairly formally. Written expectations, a conversation every week about how it is going, and an actual review every couple of months, which people find funny until they have had one.
Not looking for anybody who needs me to be the same person with them that I would be with somebody else, because I am not. Not looking for casual. And not looking to be asked in the third message which one I prefer, because the answer will still be that there is no difference and I will have lost interest by then.