New to this side, and what frightens me most is hurting somebody
Posted as afraid_of_getting_it_wrong
- Looking for
- an experienced submissive who will tell me plainly when I am wrong
- Experience
- Five months of admitting it to myself, and nothing with anybody yet.
- Around
- the Black Country, Birmingham
I have wanted to be the one leading since I was about twenty and I did nothing about it for seventeen years, largely because every version of me that could imagine doing it was a version I did not want to be. Getting past that has taken a long time and a certain amount of reading.
Thirty seven, the Black Country, five months into admitting this to myself and nothing at all in practice.
What stops me is not shyness. It is that I have understood, rather late, how much of this rests on being able to tell when another person is not all right, and I have no evidence yet that I can do that reliably. I would rather say so than turn up with a confident post and find out at somebody else's expense, which appears to be the usual method.
So what I would like is somebody experienced. I am aware that is the wrong way round from how these normally go. But I would much rather be with a person who knows what good looks like, who will stop me and say that was clumsy, or that was too much, or that you have missed something obvious and here is what it was. I will not sulk about it. I have been managed by better people than me for my entire working life and I have never once minded being corrected by somebody who knew more than I did.
Slow suits me. Talking first, at length, probably for longer than most people want. Not looking to be reassured that I will be fine, because nobody can possibly know that yet, and the two people who have said it were being kind rather than accurate.