I have arranged eight meetings and cancelled every one of them
Posted as eight_cancelled
- Looking for
- somebody patient with a first meeting that might take three attempts
- Experience
- Fifteen years of knowing, and not one hour of it in a room.
- Around
- the west end, Glasgow
I have arranged eight meetings and cancelled all eight, most of them the day before and twice from a car parked round the corner. That is the honest state of things and I am not going to dress it up as having been busy.
Thirty eight, submissive, west end, lived here my whole life. Fifteen years of knowing exactly what I want and not one hour of it done in a room with another person.
I have thought hard about why. It is not the thing itself. It is that at the last moment it stops being private and becomes real, and somebody will know, and in a city this size somebody knowing feels like everybody knowing. That is not rational and I am aware of it.
What would help is a person who is patient with a first meeting that is nothing but a conversation somewhere ordinary in daylight, and who is willing for that to happen more than once before anything else does. What I want after that is a proper dynamic, and I have had fifteen years to work out the details.
Not looking for anybody who will tell me to stop overthinking, which is the least useful sentence in the language. Not looking to be talked into a decision on the night. Not looking for a person who would disappear if I needed three attempts, although I would entirely understand it. And not looking for anybody who wants to start with messages that go on for weeks, because the messages are the easy part and I have got extremely good at the easy part.