Divorced at forty eight, and here is the list I came out with
Posted as fifty_and_a_list
- Looking for
- one person for something with a shape both of us agreed to
- Experience
- Sixteen years, all of it inside one marriage.
- Around
- out towards Lanarkshire, Glasgow
Divorced at forty eight after twenty one years, and rather than write about how that felt, here is the list of things I now know I need. It took me two years and a certain amount of professional help to produce.
Fifty, switch, out towards Lanarkshire, sixteen years in this and all of it inside the marriage.
One: somebody who says what they want without being asked three times. Two: a dynamic with a shape we both agreed to, rather than one that drifted into place and then could not be discussed. Three: the ability to change it. My marriage ended partly because we built something at twenty seven, were both still living inside it at forty seven, and neither of us could work out how to raise the subject.
Beyond the list: one person, both directions, and I lead slightly more than I follow. I have a house, grown up children who visit, and more free time than I have had in decades.
Not looking for anybody who wants to skip the boring conversations, since the boring conversations are the entire point of the list. Not looking for a person who is looking for a wife. Not looking to be rushed, because I have twenty one years of momentum to unlearn first.