Out for two years after a bad ending, working out how to come back
Posted as nothing_for_two_years
- Looking for
- somebody unhurried who does not need me to explain everything at once
- Experience
- Nine years, then two years away, and cautious about the return.
- Around
- Montrose, Houston
The last dynamic I was in ended badly. Not dangerously, and I am not going to make anybody read the details, but badly enough that I stopped for two years and only recently started reading these boards again.
What I learned from it is unglamorous. I did not have limits so much as a general willingness, and I let somebody else define what was reasonable because I did not trust my own read on it. When it started going wrong I told myself I was being difficult. It took a friend outside all of this asking one blunt question before I could see it at all.
So I am coming back differently. I have written down what I want and what I will not do, and I am not going to be talked out of any of it. I will ask for references and I will actually follow them up. I will move slowly enough to be boring about it.
Thirty six, Houston, submissive, nine years of experience before the gap. None of that means I am fragile or that I want handling carefully. I want the same things I always wanted: structure, discipline, being held to something. I just want them from somebody who thinks a submissive with clear limits is a good sign rather than an obstacle to be worked around.
If you have had your own version of this, I would rather hear about that than about what you are into. The rest we can get to later.