An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches south of the river, London

Looking for a friend who happens to be kinky, possibly only that

Posted as same_kettle

Looking for
friendship first, and honestly it might stay there
Experience
Six years, two short dynamics, several long friendships.
Around
south of the river, London

The most valuable thing this has given me in six years is not a dynamic. It is two friends who know everything about me, and I would like a third, so I am posting for that rather than pretending otherwise in order to sound normal.

Twenty nine, south of the river, work in a bookshop and do a bit of illustration. Switch, six years in, two short dynamics that were both fine and neither of which I mourned. What I mean by friendship is not a euphemism and it is not a slow approach to something else. I mean actual friendship: someone to go to a gallery with, someone to complain to about a bad negotiation, someone who understands the specific tiredness of explaining yourself to people who do not do this.

If something else grew out of that over a long time, I would not rule it out. I am also completely content if it does not, and I want to be honest that I have turned that corner down before and stayed friends. I am asexual, or somewhere near it, and I have found this is the one part of the vocabulary that people take as a challenge rather than a fact. It is a fact.

So if you read all of that and thought there is no point, thank you for reading it. If you read it and thought that sounds quite nice actually, then write to me, because we are apparently rare.

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