An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches east, London

Five years of this online and never once in a room

Posted as only_ever_online

Looking for
someone who will treat the first meeting as a big deal
Experience
Five years, all of it typed.
Around
east, London

Everything I have done in this has been through a screen. Five years of it, two long arrangements, one of which I would call the most intense thing that has happened to me, and I have never been in a room with any of them.

I am thirty, east London, and I have reached the point where the gap between the two is the only thing I think about. Online I am articulate and completely unembarrassed. I suspect in person I will be neither, and I would like to find that out with somebody who has been warned. Switch, though the online version of that may not survive contact with a body. I have topped more than I have bottomed and I think that is partly because typing makes it easy to be in control. Worth saying out loud.

What I am asking for is somebody who understands that a first meeting is not a formality for me. Coffee, an hour, in public, probably with me talking too fast. And then a gap, because I will need to think about it. I am not looking to continue online with somebody I could meet. I have done enough of that and it is a very comfortable way to avoid the actual thing.

I would rather you were experienced in person, honestly. I have plenty of theory. What I do not have is any idea what it is like when the other person can see my face.

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