BDSM personals in London
London has the most experienced crowd on this board and the least patience for vagueness. People state what they want in a sentence and expect the same back. Geography here is measured in changes on the tube rather than miles, and a post that ignores which side of the river the writer is on will get asked in the first reply.
Posts come from north of the river, south east, east, west and the commuter belt. People lead with where they are for a reason.
Dominants in London
People looking to lead, and saying what that means to them.
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No titles, no protocol, no ceremony, still very much in charge
Looking for: someone who wants the substance without the vocabulary
Nineteen years, two long marriages, both with this in them.
If you call me Sir I will probably laugh, and that will be awkward for both of us, so let us avoid it.
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Dominant, south west, and I would like to write to you first
Looking for: someone who can hold a correspondence for a few weeks
Seventeen years, three dynamics, all of them slow to start.
I would like to exchange proper letters for a few weeks before we meet. Not messages. Letters, in the sense of something you sat down to write and thought about before sending.
Submissives in London
People looking to submit, on terms they set out first.
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English is my third language and negotiating in it is hard
Looking for: a dominant who checks that I understood, not just that I agreed
Five years, two of them here.
I learned all of this vocabulary in a language I did not grow up in, and there is a gap between understanding a word and knowing what it costs. That gap is the reason for this post.
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Sub seeking a mentor rather than a partner, and meaning it
Looking for: instruction and structure without a relationship attached
Two years of study, one year of very careful practice.
I am looking for a teacher, not a boyfriend, and I have found that saying so plainly halves the replies and improves the ones that remain.
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Sub, south east, my rota is the problem and I know it
Looking for: someone whose week is as awkwardly shaped as mine
Three years, mostly one dynamic that ended when he moved away.
I finish work at half past midnight four nights out of seven, which is the single most important thing in this post and the reason most conversations here die around message six.
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Two free evenings a fortnight and I am not exaggerating
Looking for: a dominant who can build something out of very little time
Ten years before, almost nothing in the last four.
Alternate Fridays and alternate Saturdays. That is the entirety of my availability and it will be for another four years at least, so please decide now whether that is workable rather than three weeks in.
Switches in London
People who go both ways and want a partner who can follow.
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Switch, and no, it does not mean I cannot make my mind up
Looking for: someone who can actually follow when it is my turn
Eight years, both sides, roughly evenly split.
Every time I post here somebody explains switching to me, so let me get ahead of it. I am not indecisive, I am not a submissive who occasionally gets ideas, and I am not going to pick one for the convenience of your search.
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Skint postgrad switch, east, everything I suggest will be free
Looking for: someone who is not embarrassed to do this on no budget
Three years, mostly with one person at university.
Every date I propose is going to be a walk, a park, or somebody's kitchen, because I am twenty five and doing a funded PhD in a city that costs more than the funding.
Couples in London
Partners searching together, with both of them in the post.
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Couple, east, still disagreeing about this and posting anyway
Looking for: a couple who have been through the same argument
Two years of trying, and one long unresolved conversation.
We do not agree about how far this should go, we have not agreed for about eight months, and we are writing this together with that unresolved because we have decided hiding it would be a worse start.
Writing your own
Reading fifty of these is the easy half. The handbook covers the rest.
- Writing a profile that says something
- Photographs, and staying anonymous enough
- The safety basics, in one page
- What a first meeting is actually like
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Write yours in London
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