I read faces, so please do not suggest somewhere loud and dark
Posted as somewhere_with_light
- Looking for
- someone who will meet me where I can actually understand them
- Experience
- Fifteen years, both directions, three long dynamics.
- Around
- the centre, Madrid
I lose almost everything in a loud room. I read faces to fill in what my ears do not deliver, which means the default suggestion on this board, somewhere busy with music where nobody will overhear us, is the one place I cannot hold a conversation. I have spent fifteen years nodding at people I could not hear.
Forty seven, Madrid, switch, and this is the least interesting thing about me but the one that most often decides whether a first meeting works. What I need is light on your face and a room that is not shouting. A quiet place in the afternoon is perfect. A terrace at ten at night in July, with everyone in the city out and talking, is unworkable, and I will spend the whole evening pretending.
Inside a dynamic it matters differently. I cannot take instruction from behind me. I cannot take it in the dark. That sounds restrictive and in practice it is simply a thing to plan around, and every person I have been with for any length of time found it interesting rather than a problem.
I lead about half the time. The half where I follow is where the communication question is most alive, and where I have had the most success being blunt about it up front.
I have no patience left for people who say of course, entirely fine, and then propose exactly the same kind of place on Thursday. It has happened often enough that I now say it twice, which is what I am doing here.