An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the centre, Moscow

I chose an English board so that nobody I know would ever find me

Posted as english_on_purpose

Looking for
a discreet, ongoing dynamic with someone who has as much to lose
Experience
Nine years, three dynamics, none of them known to a single friend.
Around
the centre, Moscow

It is a small filter and it works. The people I went to university with, the people I manage, my sister, my neighbours: none of them are reading a personals board in English. That is the entire reason I am writing here and not somewhere more obvious, and I suspect it is why several of you are too.

Thirty eight, submissive, senior enough at work that being recognised would be a genuine problem rather than an embarrassment. I live alone in the centre. Nine years in this, three dynamics, the longest four years, and not one person in my ordinary life has ever known.

I am not lonely about that and I am not asking for permission to be more open. Privacy suits me. What it does mean is that I need somebody for whom discretion is ordinary practice rather than an inconvenience they agree to and then chafe against. Three of the men who have written to me in the last year treated my caution as a puzzle to be worn down. It is not a puzzle. It is the condition.

What I want is a standing arrangement with real authority in it, reviewed properly, running for years rather than months, and invisible from the outside. Not looking for anything that leaves marks. Not looking for someone who wants to meet my friends or have me meet his. Not looking for a man who says he understands discretion and then asks, in the fourth message, exactly what I do for a living.

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