An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the 11th, Paris

Paris, submissive, and I would like this written down properly

Posted as in_triplicate

Looking for
a dominant who is not allergic to a written agreement
Experience
Six years, two dynamics, both undermined by vagueness.
Around
the 11th, Paris

Both of my dynamics failed in the same way. Nothing was written down, so nothing could be checked, so we each remembered a different agreement, and by the time the difference surfaced we were nine months in and both convinced the other had changed the terms.

Thirty four, Paris, submissive, six years. I work in a laboratory and I am aware that what I am about to describe sounds like an unromantic way to conduct a private life, and I have concluded that I do not care.

I want an agreement in writing. What is expected of me daily, weekly and monthly. What is not permitted. What happens when I fail, and what happens when you do. How either of us ends it. A date on which we sit down and revise it. Nothing about that document has to be formal or solemn. It simply has to exist, so that the thing we agreed in March is still the thing we agreed in November.

Everything else about me is quite ordinary. I want structure and service. I have no interest in pain. I am reliable, punctual and dull in exactly the way that makes a long arrangement possible. I live alone, I can host, my hours are fixed and my evenings are free.

I am aware that some dominants find the idea of a written agreement insulting, as though their word were being doubted. It is not about doubt. It is about memory, and mine is no better than anybody's.

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