I can promise you a Saturday but not two o'clock on Saturday
Posted as the_day_not_the_hour
- Looking for
- someone flexible about timing rather than about commitment
- Experience
- Ten years, both directions, one dynamic of four years.
- Around
- the inner suburbs, Paris
I have a pain condition that varies day to day and hour to hour, and I have never found a way to predict it more than about two hours ahead. What that means practically is that I am completely reliable about which day I will be available and completely unreliable about when in that day I will be any good.
Forty one, Paris, switch, ten years. My four year dynamic worked because we designed around this from the beginning: a whole day set aside, no fixed start, and an understanding that some of that day would be spent doing nothing at all. It ended for reasons unconnected to any of it.
What has not worked is anything scheduled tightly. An evening that begins at eight is an evening I will spend anxious from six about whether I will be able to.
I am not fragile and I do not want to be handled carefully. I want to be told what to do by somebody who has thought about which parts of it are actually possible, and I want to do the same for them when I am leading, which is about half the time.
I have a fair amount of experience with adaptation and I am not precious about it. What I need is somebody who treats a bad day as information rather than as a disappointment to be managed. I live alone, I can host, and my home is set up for exactly this kind of unpredictability. I would rather have one long day a fortnight than three evenings I might have to cancel.