An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Belleville, Paris

Spanish, in Paris fifteen years, and split between two countries

Posted as one_weekend_in_three

Looking for
someone who does not mind that I vanish across the border
Experience
Twelve years, both directions, in two countries and two languages.
Around
Belleville, Paris

My mother is on the other side of the mountains and I am there one weekend in three, and have been for eleven years, and will be for as long as she is alive. It is most of a day each way and it is not negotiable and it eats a third of my weekends.

Thirty eight, Paris, switch, twelve years. I moved here at twenty three and I am now more comfortable in French than in Spanish for everything except arguing and this, which are apparently stored in the same place.

That has been an interesting problem. When I lead, French is fine. When I follow, I want to be spoken to in Spanish, and there are not many people in this city who can do that, and I have stopped treating it as a requirement and started treating it as a preference I will state and then be flexible about.

What I want is one person for a long time, both directions available. I lead slightly more than I follow. I am interested in restraint, in service and in a structure that survives a life with a large regular hole in it.

I am direct and quite blunt and I have been told that this reads differently in each of my languages, which I find funny and cannot do anything about. Not looking for anybody who needs every weekend. Not looking for anybody who thinks a family obligation is a phase. And not looking to be somebody's Spanish practice, which has genuinely happened twice.

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