An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the east end, Toronto

Nights in a warehouse, and from December I do not see the sun

Posted as daylight_in_a_jar

Looking for
something that lives in daily contact rather than in evenings
Experience
Five years, two dynamics, neither of which survived my hours.
Around
the east end, Toronto

I work overnight in a warehouse and from the middle of November I go months without seeing the sun. I arrive in the dark, I sleep through the light, I get up in the dark. By February that does something to a person which is difficult to describe to anybody on a normal schedule.

Thirty eight, the east end, submissive, five years in. Two dynamics, both fine, neither of them survived my hours.

Here is what I have learned about myself. Winter is when I most need a structure and when I am least capable of being good company. Summer is the opposite: awake at reasonable times on my days off, cheerful, no trouble at all. So if you meet me now you are meeting the better version, and I think you are owed that information before anything else.

What works for me is a dynamic that lives in daily contact rather than in evenings out. Tasks. Reporting. A standing expectation that does not care what the clock says. I have never wanted to be entertained. I want something to be accountable to.

I am in the east end and I would rather not do a long trip after a twelve hour shift, although I will if the person is worth it and the trip is not weekly. Not looking for anybody who needs a Friday night. Not looking for somebody who will read my winter as losing interest, because it is not, and I will tell you plainly when it has started.

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