BDSM personals in Toronto
Toronto is the largest board outside the US and UK, and the winter shapes it more than anything else: for five months meeting anyone means going somewhere indoors, and the posts plan around it. Condo living is the other constraint people actually name, thin walls and a concierge who sees everyone. The city is genuinely mixed, and the board is franker about background and language than most.
Posts come from downtown, the west end, the east end, North York and the 905. People lead with where they are for a reason.
Dominants in Toronto
People looking to lead, and saying what that means to them.
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What I want to run is your Tuesday, not your Saturday night
Looking for: somebody who functions better with an external structure and has never had one
Fourteen years, three dynamics, all of them domestic and administrative.
What interests me is your Tuesday. Not your Saturday night, not an evening with a plan attached to it, but the ordinary running of a week: when you get up, whether you have eaten, what you have been putting off, and the state of the place you live in.
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Engineer. Yes, there is a document. No, you do not have to like it
Looking for: a submissive who will read four pages and argue with two of them
Fourteen years, and two things that failed over an unspoken assumption.
There is a document. It is four pages, it has a version number, and my last partner had notes on it that improved it considerably. I am aware of how this sounds and I have decided to lead with it rather than spring it on somebody in week three.
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Good company nine months a year, and honest about the other three
Looking for: somebody who does not need much reassurance in the dark months
Four years, one dynamic that made it through a winter and one that did not.
Between the first week of January and roughly the middle of March I am not much use to anybody. It is not a mood I can be jollied out of and it is not caused by anything in particular. The light goes and I go with it, and I have spent about six years learning to plan around that instead of being surprised by it every year.
Submissives in Toronto
People looking to submit, on terms they set out first.
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I plan everything. I would like one part of my life I do not plan
Looking for: somebody genuinely competent, because I will notice if they are not
Eight years, two dynamics, both good, both ended for ordinary reasons.
My winter tires are booked in September. My passport was renewed a year early. There is a spreadsheet for the groceries. I am the person everybody in my family calls when something has gone wrong, because I will have thought about it already, and I have been that person since I was about nineteen.
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I moved here from Quebec and this city is polite, not honest
Looking for: a dominant who will say the unpleasant thing at the time
Seven years, two dynamics, both of them elsewhere.
I grew up in Quebec and I have been here five years, and the thing I still cannot get used to is that people here will say yes to something they have no intention of doing rather than say no to your face. I have had four conversations end in enthusiasm and then silence. Where I am from you would have been told no in the first ten minutes and you could have gone home.
Switches in Toronto
People who go both ways and want a partner who can follow.
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I can host from December to April and not one day outside it
Looking for: a long partnership started now rather than in the first week of December
Ten years, both directions, several good stretches and one bad one.
My parents go south at the beginning of December and come back at the end of April. I keep an eye on their house while they are away, which means that for five months of the year I have a whole empty house with a driveway, and for the other seven I live in a one bedroom apartment with a landlord upstairs.
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I do not start anything between the new year and the thaw
Looking for: one long partnership with somebody who genuinely goes both ways
Sixteen years, and a rule about seasons that has improved all of them.
I have a rule and it has improved my life considerably: I do not start anything new between the new year and the thaw. Nothing begun in January has ever survived here. Everybody is broke, everybody is tired, half the plans are cancelled by weather, and by the time the city defrosts you are two months into something that has never once had a proper conversation.
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I am not looking for another switch. I am looking for two people
Looking for: one person to submit to and one who submits to me, both knowing
Six years, three attempts at switching with another switch, three failures.
I am not looking for another switch. I have tried it three times and every one of them turned into a scheduling problem in which two people negotiated whose turn it was to want something. What I am looking for is two different people: one I submit to, one who submits to me, both of them knowing about the other from the beginning.
Couples in Toronto
Partners searching together, with both of them in the post.
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Together thirty four years, doing this for three, and completely at sea
Looking for: a couple around our own age who could tell us whether we are ordinary
Three years of a private arrangement invented entirely from scratch.
Together thirty four years, and three years into a part of our marriage that neither of us saw coming. We are sixty two and sixty four. We are also, in the vocabulary of this board, completely at sea, and we would rather admit that than write something which sounds knowledgeable.
Writing your own
Reading fifty of these is the easy half. The handbook covers the rest.
- Writing a profile that says something
- Photographs, and staying anonymous enough
- The safety basics, in one page
- What a first meeting is actually like
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Write yours in Toronto
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