An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples Noord, Amsterdam

He wrote this post and then I added a paragraph underneath

Posted as his_version_then_mine

Looking for
a dominant woman who will negotiate with both of us equally
Experience
Twelve years together, two previous arrangements, both good.
Around
Noord, Amsterdam

He wrote this post. I read it afterwards and I am leaving his version in, with mine underneath, because his is a very good demonstration of the problem.

His: we are a couple in our forties in Noord, together twelve years, looking for a dominant woman for occasional evenings with both of us. We are easy going, open to most things and happy to be guided.

Mine: we are not easy going and we are not open to most things. He is submissive, I am not, and I have no intention of being guided by anybody. What I want is to watch somebody who knows what she is doing take charge of him, and to be involved on my own terms, which are specific and which I will state clearly once we are actually talking. He knows all of this. He writes it vaguely because he worries that being precise puts people off.

So: he is forty three and enthusiastic. I am forty one and difficult. We have done this twice, both times well, both times with people we spent a long while talking to first.

Not looking for anybody who will negotiate only with him, which happened once and which I ended. Not looking for a person who wants a couple that will agree to anything, since one half of us would and the other half will not. Not looking to be hurried by anyone, him included.

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