An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Couples the ring, Amsterdam

One person between us, and here are both of our lists

Posted as two_lists_side_by_side

Looking for
a dominant woman who genuinely enjoys two opposite things
Experience
Twelve years together, two separate dominants, too much diary work.
Around
the ring, Amsterdam

We want one person between us and we want quite different things from her, so instead of the usual blended paragraph, here are both lists. Him, thirty nine: service, structure, tasks that carry on between meetings. No pain of any kind. Wants correction that is spoken, and finds the idea of implements faintly ridiculous, which he says with love for those who feel otherwise.

Her, thirty seven: close to the opposite. Wants a firm hand, physical, planned well in advance and reasonably intense, with no interest whatsoever in service, chores or protocol. Finds his half of this list restful to read and slightly baffling.

Together twelve years, just outside the ring, and the reason we want one person rather than two is that we tried two and spent the whole time coordinating diaries and feelings.

What we need is a dominant woman who genuinely enjoys both halves rather than tolerating one to reach the other. We know that narrows it considerably. We have been looking a while and we are in no hurry at all.

Not looking for anybody who wants to fold us into a single arrangement, because it has been tried and it flattens both of us. Not looking for a person who will quietly favour one of us and then feel guilty about it. Not looking for someone who wants us as a package in any other sense, since outside this we are perfectly ordinary and privately married.

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