I lead in long relationships and follow in short ones
Posted as long_and_short
- Looking for
- the long version, with me leading, and no argument about labels
- Experience
- Eighteen years, one seven year dynamic, several brief ones.
- Around
- the ring, Amsterdam
I lead in long relationships and I follow in short ones. I have known this about myself for about six years and I still find it faintly embarrassing to write down, because it sounds like a strategy and it is not one.
Forty four, switch, just inside the ring, eighteen years in. What seems to happen is that leading requires me to know somebody thoroughly. I am no good at it with a person whose reactions I cannot predict. I have tried and the results were flat and polite. Following works from the first evening, which is presumably why the short things all went that way.
The version I would like now is the long one, with me leading. I am telling you the other half so you know what you are getting, and so that nobody is startled in eight months when I ask to go the other way for an evening, which I might, once or twice a year.
I am an extremely ordinary person with a boring job and two enormous cats.
Not looking for a man who needs me to be dominant every hour of the day, because I would be pretending by Tuesday. Not looking for somebody who reads the short things as a list of exes to be jealous about. Not looking to be talked into deciding I am only one thing, which happens on this board constantly and which is nobody else's job.