Fifty five, and using the word switch for the first time
Posted as one_side_22_years
- Looking for
- somebody experienced who is relaxed about a late discovery
- Experience
- Twenty two years following, and one hour on the other side.
- Around
- the west, Amsterdam
For twenty two years I was the one being led, inside a marriage that was good for most of it and finished last spring. Six months ago a friend asked for help with something, in a room, and I ended up on the other side of it for an hour, and I have been quietly rearranging my sense of myself ever since.
Fifty five, in the west, and using the word switch for the first time in my life at an age when I am supposedly settled.
I do not want to overstate this. One hour is not a revelation, it is a data point. But it was the most alert I have felt in five years and I am not going to pretend otherwise.
What I want is somebody experienced who is comfortable with a person exploring the other direction late, and who will treat it as neither a crisis nor a novelty. I am still perfectly content following. I would simply like to find out what the rest of it is.
I am solvent, I live alone, I can host, and I have more free time than at any point since my twenties. Not looking for anyone who wants to announce what I really am. Not looking for a person who will be disappointed if it turns out I am largely what I always was. Not looking to do any of this quickly, since I have waited this long by accident and can wait a little longer on purpose. And not looking for somebody who wants me to lead them straight away, because whatever this turns into will begin with a great deal of talking and probably several months of nothing else.