I am in charge all day and I still want this
Posted as in_charge_all_day
- Looking for
- a submissive for a dynamic that is nothing like my working life
- Experience
- Eight years, two dynamics, one of them still a close friendship.
- Around
- the city centre, Birmingham
I employ eleven people. I sign things, I decide things, and I am the one who has to sack somebody when it comes to that. For about two years I assumed this meant I ought to want the opposite in my own time, so I tried it, and it was a total failure which I am glad nobody had to watch.
Forty nine, city centre, eight years in on this side once I stopped arguing with myself about whether I was allowed to be.
What I eventually worked out is that the thing I carry at work is responsibility, which is heavy and which I would happily put down at six o'clock. What I want at home is authority, which turns out to be an entirely different substance. Nobody at work has ever actually wanted me to be in charge of them. That is the whole of the difference, and it took me an embarrassing number of years to see it, largely because I kept reading posts by people who had made the opposite discovery and assuming they must be right about me too.
So I am after somebody who genuinely wants to be led rather than somebody willing to tolerate it. I have no interest in a negotiated performance where we both privately know that a favour is being done. I would rather have one evening a week with a person who means it than four with somebody being obliging about it.
Practically: my weekday evenings are free, my weekends almost never are, I can host, and I am slow to start things. Not looking for anybody who wants instructions by text at eleven in the morning. And not looking for a person who is doing this in order to fix something else that is wrong.