I lead in exactly one thing and follow in everything else
Posted as one_thing_in_charge
- Looking for
- somebody willing to let an arrangement be uneven on purpose
- Experience
- Six years, one dynamic of four that ended amicably last autumn.
- Around
- the Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham
There is one specific area where I am completely in charge, take it very seriously, and am good at it. In every other part of a dynamic I want to be led. People hear that and assume I am describing something roughly balanced, which it is not, and then get confused when the ratio turns out to be nearer one to nine.
Twenty nine, the Jewellery Quarter, six years in, four of those with one person who understood it inside the first conversation, which I have not been able to repeat since.
I will explain the specific area properly to somebody I am actually talking to. Written down here it either sounds grander than it is or slightly comic. What matters for a post is the shape of the thing: a dynamic in which I answer to you about nearly everything, and in which there is one defined area that is mine, that you do not overrule, and that we both treat as real.
The reason it works is that having one piece of genuine responsibility makes the rest of it easier rather than harder for me. I know that is the opposite of how it is usually described.
Not looking for a fully switching arrangement, which I have tried and did not enjoy. Not looking for somebody who wants to trade week about. And not looking for anybody who will agree to the one thing in order to get the other nine and then start eroding it in month two, which is exactly what happened the last time.