I need the plan confirmed two days ahead or I cannot come at all
Posted as confirm_it_in_writing
- Looking for
- somebody who will find that ordinary rather than high maintenance
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic, ended over exactly this.
- Around
- Oak Cliff, Dallas
If a plan is loose I will worry at it for two days and then cancel an hour before, and by then I will have made myself so unwell about it that the cancellation feels like a relief. That is the pattern. I know it, I have worked on it, and the thing that actually fixes it is boring: tell me the plan, in writing, forty eight hours ahead, and then do not change it.
Twenty eight, Oak Cliff, switch, four years. One dynamic that lasted five months and ended when he decided that the confirmations were a control thing I was doing to him. They were not. They are a set of crutches and I would happily throw them away if I could walk.
What I want is somebody who reads the above and thinks yes, obviously, rather than somebody who agrees and then finds it tiresome by week six, which is what happens.
Beyond that I am fairly ordinary. Both directions, leaning towards following. I like structure, written rules, things I can reread. I do not like surprises of any kind and that includes the pleasant ones, which is a difficult thing to explain to a person who is being thoughtful.
I am funnier in text than in person and much calmer once a thing has actually started. Not looking for anybody who wants spontaneity. Not looking for someone who thinks the anxiety is a thing they can fix by being reassuring. It is not. It is a thing I manage and I would like to manage it with somebody rather than around them.