An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants the mid-cities, Dallas

The first three months are deliberately slow and I run them in stages

Posted as the_long_onboarding

Looking for
a submissive who will not find a staged start insulting
Experience
Fifteen years, three dynamics, all begun the same careful way.
Around
the mid-cities, Dallas

I have a process and I know exactly how that sounds. My colleagues would recognise the word I use for it and would laugh, and they would be right to, and I am using it anyway because it is accurate.

Month one is conversation only. Nothing physical, nothing agreed, and no rules of any kind. We are working out whether we like each other, which is a question most people on this board skip in favour of compatibility, and compatibility is not the same thing at all.

Month two is one meeting, in public, in daylight, followed by more conversation. Somewhere in there we start writing down what either of us actually wants, and usually discover that it has changed since month one.

Month three is when a structure begins, small, with two or three rules that are easy to keep, and we build from there only as fast as the easy things hold. Thirty six, mid-cities, dominant, fifteen years. Three dynamics, of five, three and two years, all started exactly like that. I have never had one end badly and I am convinced the two of those facts are related.

What I want at the end of it is a long structured arrangement with real service in it and a submissive who is at their best inside a routine. Not looking for anybody who wants something to happen this month. Not looking for someone who will read patience as a lack of interest, which has happened, and which I could not do much about.

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