An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

Signed out. You are reading, not posting. Log In Sign Up

Switches the west end, Glasgow

Four years of making it up with one person, and now she is gone

Posted as improvised_with_one

Looking for
somebody experienced who will tell me what I have been getting wrong
Experience
Four years, entirely with one partner, entirely improvised.
Around
the west end, Glasgow

Everything I know about this I made up with one person over four years, and now that it has ended I have no idea whether any of it is how it is actually done.

Twenty seven, switch, west end. We were together from twenty two to twenty six and we worked the whole thing out between us, with no vocabulary and no reference points, mostly in a shared flat with the radio on. It was good. I still think it was good. But I have read enough since to know we did several things in ways that would horrify people who take this seriously.

So what I want before anything else is somebody experienced who is willing to tell me what I have been getting wrong. Bluntly is fine. Bluntly is preferred.

After that: one person, both directions, ongoing. I led rather more often than I followed and I suspect that was habit rather than preference, and I would like to find out which.

Not looking for anybody who will be charmed by how homemade all of this is. Not looking for a person who wants to be the one who properly introduces me to everything, since that sentence makes me uneasy and I cannot entirely explain why. Not looking to talk about my ex, who is a good person and none of this is about her.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

Before you answer this

The handbook covers the part that comes next. These three are the ones that matter to a post like this one.

Also in Glasgow

All posts in Glasgow →

You have read one. Now write one.

Write a post like this where the people reading it are near you, and answer the ones that are already there.

Write your post Already a member? Log in