An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the east of the city, Hamburg

Moved in from the flat country and there are suddenly people here

Posted as in_from_the_marsh

Looking for
somebody patient with a man who has never had options before
Experience
Eleven years, all of it at a distance and most of it in writing.
Around
the east of the city, Hamburg

Where I lived before, the nearest person who understood any of this was two hours away and I met him twice in a decade. Now I live in a city with a board on it, and I have discovered that I have no idea how to behave when there is more than one option.

Forty five, submissive, moved east of the city last autumn for work. Eleven years of correspondence and two meetings, both awkward, both a long time ago. So on paper I have been in this for over a decade and in practice I have barely done it.

The thing nobody warns you about is that abundance is its own difficulty. I answered four posts in January, had three good conversations, and then froze, because I could not work out how a person decides, and I had never had to.

What I want is one person and a long arrangement. Service, rules, an ordinary domestic shape. I have thought about this for eleven years and I am very clear about the shape. I am simply hopeless at the part where you talk to a stranger.

I would rather write for a while first. I am much better on paper, which is presumably how I lasted eleven years doing it that way. Not looking for anything fast. Not looking for somebody who will find my inexperience charming, because I do not find it charming and I would like to be past it.

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