BDSM personals in Hamburg
Hamburg is the quieter northern counterweight to Berlin: same directness about what people want, considerably less performance around it. The port and the shift patterns it brings show up in who is free and when. People here take longer to open up and then stay, so the board carries more posts looking for something lasting and fewer looking for an evening.
Posts come from Altona, St Pauli side, Eimsbüttel, the east of the city and the harbour side. People lead with where they are for a reason.
Dominants in Hamburg
People looking to lead, and saying what that means to them.
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I make things people scroll past all day. Please have another job
Looking for: a submissive from a completely different world to mine
Nine years, three dynamics, two of them with colleagues, never again.
Twice I have ended up in a dynamic with somebody from my own industry and both times the whole thing slowly became a longer version of a working day. The same complaints, the same names, the same weary jokes. I liked both of them enormously. I could not breathe.
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Everything I know about leading came from one woman and I say so
Looking for: a submissive who does not mind that my style is borrowed
Five years, all of it learned from a single mentor.
I did not work this out for myself. From twenty four to twenty eight I was taught, deliberately and quite strictly, by a woman who had been doing it for two decades and who thought most people learn to lead by guessing badly. She was right and she was not gentle about the process.
Submissives in Hamburg
People looking to submit, on terms they set out first.
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One week on the water, one week ashore, and that is the deal
Looking for: a dominant who can build something around a fortnightly rhythm
Six years, two dynamics, both worn down by the rota.
Seven days on, seven days off. During the on week I am out of reach for hours at a time and asleep at odd hours. When I am off I am free in a way that almost nobody with a normal job ever is, including all day on a Wednesday.
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Eight years since the divorce and I have finally written something
Looking for: a long domestic arrangement with somebody who is not in a hurry
Twenty years in this, and eight of them entirely dormant.
The divorce came through in a spring I no longer count from, and I have not looked for anything since. Not out of grief. Out of a kind of northern stubbornness where you decide privately that the chapter is closed and then never go back and check the decision.
Switches in Hamburg
People who go both ways and want a partner who can follow.
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Fourth summer writing one of these and I refuse to sound bitter
Looking for: one person who can genuinely take both roles
Eleven years, both sides, one dynamic that managed it properly.
My fourth summer writing one of these, and it took two drafts to keep the resentment out of it. Four years is a long time to be looking, and it probably says something, though possibly only that I am fussy about one thing and unwilling to stop being.
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Friends for a year first, and I do mean a year
Looking for: a friendship that might, much later, become something else
Sixteen years, four dynamics, the good ones all began as friendships.
Every arrangement I have had that was worth anything started as a friendship that ran at least a year before either of us said a word about the rest of it. Every one that started the other way round was finished inside four months. Four for four, both directions. At some point a person has to believe their own evidence.
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One shoulder is out of action until spring, which rules out a lot
Looking for: somebody interested in the year where I cannot do the obvious things
Thirteen years, both sides, currently limited to about half of it.
I tore something in my shoulder in February and the surgeon has been clear. No load through that arm until spring, possibly longer. Which removes at a stroke most of what I have spent thirteen years getting good at.
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What I want is silence and no light, and rope bores me
Looking for: somebody as interested in sensory quiet as everyone else is in rope
Eight years, both sides, narrow and deliberate.
Take away sight and sound and I go somewhere it takes me a day to come back from. That is the entire content of my interest in this and I have found perhaps three other people who wanted the same thing.
Couples in Hamburg
Partners searching together, with both of them in the post.
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She leads, I write the posts, and she finds all this absurd
Looking for: a submissive man for her, for something long and domestic
Together twelve years, nine of them with her in charge.
I am the husband. I do the typing because she regards writing about herself as a form of self harm, and because after twelve years I can do a passable impression of her when required. She has read this and removed two sentences from it.
Writing your own
Reading fifty of these is the easy half. The handbook covers the rest.
- Writing a profile that says something
- Photographs, and staying anonymous enough
- The safety basics, in one page
- What a first meeting is actually like
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Write yours in Hamburg
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