Twice a month, reliably, for the next ten years if it works
Posted as fortnight_forever
- Looking for
- somebody who wants low frequency and very high reliability
- Experience
- Twenty three years, both sides, two arrangements of nine and seven years.
- Around
- the east of the city, Hamburg
My two long arrangements ran nine years and seven years and both of them worked at roughly twice a month. That was not a compromise I settled for. It is the frequency at which I am able to be genuinely present rather than half there and quietly resentful.
Fifty four, switch, east of the city, twenty three years in. I work in a hospital laboratory, ordinary hours, and I have a life outside this that I like and have no wish to replace.
What I offer at twice a month is total reliability. I do not cancel. I am not late. I remember what we said in March. Between meetings there is contact, structure and whatever rules we agreed, and none of it lapses because eleven days have gone by.
What I have found is that people hear twice a month and assume a lack of interest. It is the opposite. Weekly, I get sloppy and start treating it as routine. Fortnightly, I prepare, and I turn up properly, and the thing lasts nine years. I switch with no fixed lean. Both long arrangements settled into a shape after about a year without either of us designing it.
Not looking for daily contact, though a check in is welcome. Not looking for anyone who would find twice a month insulting. Not looking for intensity, which is the word I see most often on here and which has never once described anything I enjoyed.