Houston, out to my friends, closeted at Christmas, looking for the same
Posted as open_about_it_here
- Looking for
- someone who is not asking me to be a secret in my own city
- Experience
- Four years, both directions, mostly inside a group of friends.
- Around
- Montrose, Houston
One of the reasons I stayed in Houston after school is that in my part of it I can be fairly open and it costs me almost nothing. My friends know. My workplace would not care. My family in another state knows a carefully edited version and that is exactly where it is going to stay.
Twenty eight, nonbinary, they or he, switch. Most of my experience has come from inside a friend group rather than with strangers, which has one significant downside: everybody has now dated everybody and it has got complicated in the way those things do. Hence a post. What I want is somebody I can be seen with. Not paraded, just seen. Dinner where we are not pretending to be coworkers. That rules out anyone who needs total secrecy, and I understand why some people do, but it has not worked for me.
Switching for me is less about a scene and more about who is looking after whom that week. I have been the one holding things together and the one being told what to do, and I need both to feel like myself. I am not in a hurry. I have a good life and I would like to add to it rather than repair it. The thing I keep running into is people who are enthusiastic in messages and then want to meet somewhere nobody could possibly see us, and it does not improve.
What I am good at: turning up, saying what I need, and noticing when somebody has stopped enjoying themselves. What I am bad at: phone calls.
If you are somewhere earlier in working out gender things, you are very welcome to write. I was there four years ago and people were kind to me about it.