An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

Signed out. You are reading, not posting. Log In Sign Up

Switches the west side, Houston

I run job sites, which apparently means I must be a domme

Posted as hard_hat_hair

Looking for
a partner who lets me choose which side I am on that week
Experience
Eleven years, both directions, and no settled preference.
Around
the west side, Houston

Every time I mention what I do for a living somebody decides they already know what I am into. I manage construction projects in Houston. I am five foot ten, I own steel toed boots, I have told grown men off in front of their crews. None of that tells you anything about what I want on a Friday night.

I am a switch and I mean it in the annoying way, which is that it changes. Some months I want to be entirely in charge, and some months the appeal of being told what to do by somebody competent is the only thing getting me through the week. I have stopped apologising for that and started leading with it.

Thirty eight. Divorced, no children, my own place, a dog with opinions. What has never worked for me is a partner who agreed to switching in theory and then sulked whenever I asked for the other thing. What has worked is somebody who can genuinely do both and finds the negotiation about which one interesting rather than exhausting.

I do not need this to be my whole personality. I have a demanding job, a set of friends who know nothing about any of it, and a hobby involving a kiln. I would like a person, not an identity. The men who write assume I want to be argued with and the women assume I want to be in charge of them, and both are true about a third of the time, which is the whole problem.

If you are also a switch, excellent. If you are firmly one thing but curious about the other, that is fine too, as long as you are honest about which one you actually are today.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

Before you answer this

The handbook covers the part that comes next. These three are the ones that matter to a post like this one.

Also in Houston

All posts in Houston →

You have read one. Now write one.

Write a post like this where the people reading it are near you, and answer the ones that are already there.

Write your post Already a member? Log in