An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches Montrose, Houston

Fifty five, ten years out, and the vocabulary has all changed

Posted as ten_years_off

Looking for
patience with somebody relearning how any of this works
Experience
Fifteen years, then a decade away, and now starting over.
Around
Montrose, Houston

I was in this properly from my late twenties until my mid forties. Then a divorce, then a long stretch of putting myself back together, and somehow ten years went past.

Coming back has been humbling. Half the words are different. There are apps now, and etiquette about the apps, and I have already got two things wrong in public in a way that made me want to shut the laptop and take up gardening instead. So: fifty five, Houston, switch, and out of practice rather than out of interest. The things I liked have not changed much. I liked being in charge of somebody careful. I also liked, in the right hands, not being in charge of anything at all for a few hours. Both of those are still true and neither of them turned out to expire.

What I am hoping for is somebody who does not treat a woman my age as either a novelty or a mother figure. I have had a run of both and neither is a conversation I want to have again. I would rather start with coffee and low expectations. I am nervous about this, which surprises me, because I used to be the one other people asked for advice.

If you are also coming back after a gap, I would honestly love to hear from you. It would be a relief to compare notes with somebody who remembers the old way of doing it and is equally baffled by the new one.

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