Tell me the plan in advance and I will be excellent at it
Posted as no_surprises_please
- Looking for
- a dominant who is happy to say what is happening before it happens
- Experience
- Seven years, two dynamics, both improved enormously once I explained this.
- Around
- the Baltic Triangle, Liverpool
I have an anxiety disorder that is well managed and very boring, and the one thing that reliably sets it off is not knowing what is about to happen. Tell me the plan and I am calm, capable and genuinely good at all of this. Spring something on me and I will spend the evening at about half capacity while pretending otherwise. Thirty five, Baltic Triangle, submissive man, seven years in.
I know that surprise is half the appeal for a lot of people, and I am not asking anybody to change what they enjoy. I am saying that with me the appeal has to come from somewhere else, which in practice means anticipation. Tell me on Monday what is happening on Friday and I will think about nothing else all week, which is arguably a better outcome for everybody.
What I want is something ongoing with structure and a lot of clarity. Written rules suit me. So does a routine. So does being corrected, as long as I know what the standard was.
I am steady, I am not fragile, and I have been doing this for seven years without incident.
Not looking for anyone who wants to test how I cope with the unexpected, which two people have done deliberately and which ended both times. Not looking to be managed like a medical situation. Not looking for anything that needs me to be spontaneous, since I am not and I have stopped trying.