An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Switches south east, London

Switch, and no, it does not mean I cannot make my mind up

Posted as both_ends_of_it

Looking for
someone who can actually follow when it is my turn
Experience
Eight years, both sides, roughly evenly split.
Around
south east, London

Every time I post here somebody explains switching to me, so let me get ahead of it. I am not indecisive, I am not a submissive who occasionally gets ideas, and I am not going to pick one for the convenience of your search.

Eight years, both sides, about half and half. What I want is one person who can do the same, because the honest problem with switches is that most of us are much better at one end than the other and will not admit it. I am better at topping. I am working on the other half and I would like somebody who notices when I hide behind being competent. Thirty two, south east, in a job with a great many meetings and very little authority, which may explain some of the above.

I want something ongoing. I do not want a rota, a contract, or a system where we announce on Thursday which of us is in charge. In my experience it simply happens and then it swaps back, and the people who schedule it are usually the ones who never actually do it. What I do not want: anyone who calls themselves a switch and has topped twice. Anyone who thinks this is two people for the effort of one. Anyone who needs the dynamic visible to a room.

I am blunt in writing and much warmer in person. Several people have told me that is the wrong way round.

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