New dominant, north west, and I would rather admit that now
Posted as first_time_leading
- Looking for
- someone experienced who is willing to be honest with me
- Experience
- None in practice. Two years of reading and thinking about it.
- Around
- north west, London
I am aware that a dominant admitting to being new is close to a contradiction on a board like this, and I have decided that the alternative is worse.
Thirty, north west London, a technical job, and about two years of working out that what I want is to be the one holding things rather than the one being held. I have not done any of it. Not once. Everything I have is reading, thinking and a couple of very careful conversations that did not go further.
What worries me is not doing something badly. It is the fact that half of what gets written about dominance is performance, and I cannot tell from the outside which half. I would very much like to learn from a person rather than from posts by men who sound like paperback villains.
So I am hoping for somebody experienced who is willing to be direct with me. Not to run the show from underneath. To be able to say that was clumsy, or you did not check, or you missed something, and to have that be normal rather than a crisis. I can offer attention, patience, and a genuine willingness to be told. I am steady. I am not going to disappear when it gets awkward, which I gather is the standard failure.
If you want somebody who already knows exactly what he is doing, that is completely reasonable and you should keep scrolling. I would rather be passed over honestly than chosen on a false impression.