No titles, no protocol, no ceremony, still very much in charge
Posted as no_honorifics
- Looking for
- someone who wants the substance without the vocabulary
- Experience
- Nineteen years, two long marriages, both with this in them.
- Around
- the commuter belt, London
If you call me Sir I will probably laugh, and that will be awkward for both of us, so let us avoid it.
Fifty five, out past the edge of the city, nineteen years of doing this and two long relationships that had it running quietly underneath. Neither involved kneeling, a title, or a single word of ritual language, and both were as thoroughly one sided as anything you will read about on here. My view, for what it is worth, is that the vocabulary is scaffolding. Useful when you are building something, unnecessary once it stands. Some people need it permanently and that is entirely fine, it is just not me, and I have wasted enough evenings pretending it is.
What I want is one woman who wants a plain spoken version of this. Decisions made and not discussed. Expectations that are actually enforced. No performance, no scene names, no announcing anything to anybody. I am not much interested in the community side and I do not go to things. The trap in what I have written is that plenty of men use exactly this language to mean they cannot be bothered to negotiate. I do negotiate, at length, once, properly, and then I do not want to renegotiate every fortnight. If that distinction matters to you, we will get on. If it does not, you will find me either too casual or too immovable, and both are fair.