An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Dominants south west, London

Dominant, south west, and I would like to write to you first

Posted as study_door_shut

Looking for
someone who can hold a correspondence for a few weeks
Experience
Seventeen years, three dynamics, all of them slow to start.
Around
south west, London

I would like to exchange proper letters for a few weeks before we meet. Not messages. Letters, in the sense of something you sat down to write and thought about before sending.

I am forty six, I teach and write for a living, and I am aware this preference makes me an inconvenient prospect on a board where the standard opening is three words. It is not a test, or a hoop, or a way of filtering for cleverness. It is simply that I learn more about a person from how they construct a paragraph than from an hour in a noisy room, and I have been wrong about people I met quickly more often than about people I read slowly.

South west, seventeen years in this, three long dynamics, and a strong preference for one person at a time. What I am for: structure built out of language. Instructions, reflections, things written down and returned to. What I am not for: anyone who wants an immediate physical arrangement, or who finds writing an obstacle between them and the point.

A note on what I mean by instruction, because the word does a lot of work. I mean tasks with a purpose, reflections I will read and answer properly, and an expectation that you tell me when something has stopped being useful. Not exercises for their own sake.

I should say plainly that this can become physical and that I am not describing a purely epistolary thing. I am describing an order of events. If English is not your first language that is not a problem in the slightest. Effort and honesty are entirely legible through imperfect grammar, and a fluent liar is much harder to spot than a careful one.

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