A couple who do not live together, one north, one south
Posted as north_south_pair
- Looking for
- friends or a third who understand that we are two households
- Experience
- Seven years together, five of them doing this.
- Around
- one north of the river, one south, London
We have been together seven years and we have never lived together, which was a decision rather than an accident, and it means our dynamic runs across two homes an hour apart.
She is north of the river, he is south. Both mid thirties. He is dominant, she is submissive, and most of what we do is at a distance: rules that apply in her flat when he is nowhere near it, a nightly routine, a lot of writing. When we are together it is condensed and we plan it properly.
We are posting because we would like to know other people who do it this way, and because we are open to one other person eventually, most likely somebody who is themselves independent and not looking to be absorbed into a household.
The thing we are asked constantly is when we are moving in together. The answer is not currently planned and both of us are happy, and we would rather not spend a first coffee explaining that. Practically: we are each free on different nights, so meeting both of us at once takes about three weeks of arranging. Meeting one of us is easy and we are relaxed about that provided the other knows, which is our only firm rule and it applies to both of us equally.
If distance within London sounds like a poor excuse to you, we would gently point out that an hour each way after work is a real thing.