Twenty years in and I have never been to anything, ever
Posted as not_a_scene_person
- Looking for
- one person, privately, with no social side at all
- Experience
- Twenty two years, four dynamics, none of them public.
- Around
- just outside the city, London
In twenty two years I have never once been to an event, a group, a class or a gathering of any kind, and I have no intention of starting, which apparently makes me either a liar or a coward depending on who is telling me.
I am fifty six, just outside the city, and I have had four dynamics of between two and six years each, every one of them found through exactly this sort of post and conducted entirely in private. So the argument that you cannot do this properly without a community is one I have tested at length.
Switch, though I lean towards leading these days, mostly out of tiredness. What I want is one person who feels the same. Someone for whom the social apparatus around all this is at best irrelevant. I have nothing against anybody who loves it. I simply have no wish to stand in a room being introduced, and I find the etiquette exhausting in a way I cannot argue myself out of.
The obvious objection is safety, and it is a fair one. My answer is that I am slow, I ask a great deal, I meet in public several times, and I have never had anything go badly wrong. That may be luck. It is at least twenty two years of luck.
If you are heavily involved in the community, we will annoy each other, and there is no need to try.