She leads in this house, and we want to meet a couple like us
Posted as she_leads_in_this_house
- Looking for
- another couple where the woman leads, for friendship and comparison
- Experience
- Fifteen years together, twelve of them with her in charge.
- Around
- the Westside, Los Angeles
Every couple we have met in three years has had the same shape. Him leading, her following, and a set of assumptions about us that has to be corrected within twenty minutes of sitting down. Usually by him, to me, cheerfully, while my wife watches.
Forty four and forty seven, the Westside, together fifteen years, twelve of them with her running our household. What we want is another couple that works the way we do. Not to compare notes competitively. It would simply be a relief to spend an evening with people who do not need the basic premise explained to them, and after twelve years we have questions we cannot ask anybody.
There is very little written for households like ours that is not either a joke or a sales pitch. We have worked most of it out ourselves and I suspect we have got parts of it wrong in ways only another couple in the same position could see.
Friendship first, dinner, an ordinary evening. Anything else would be a long way down the road and only if all four people were enthusiastic rather than agreeable.
The one thing we will not do again is spend an evening with a couple where one half is plainly there out of politeness. We have done that twice and both times somebody went home unhappy. And if you intend to explain to my wife how a household like ours ought to be run, please spend that energy elsewhere.