Three people did not turn up in June, so this post is blunt
Posted as three_no_shows
- Looking for
- an adult who can keep an arrangement made four days earlier
- Experience
- Fifteen years, and my patience is now a finite resource.
- Around
- downtown, Los Angeles
Three separate people arranged to meet me in June and none of them came. One sent a message an hour afterwards. Two sent nothing at all. I sat in three different coffee places on three different afternoons like an idiot, and I have decided the only useful response is to be rude about it in public.
Forty two, downtown, dominant, fifteen years in. What I want first, before anything about kink, is somebody who does what they said they would do on the day they said they would do it.
That is the whole test. Not enthusiasm. Not a beautifully written message at two in the morning about how ready you are. Turning up. In this city that appears to be a rare and specialized skill and I am no longer willing to pretend otherwise.
What I offer, once we are past that, is a great deal of attention, a structure built around your actual life rather than an imaginary one, and complete consistency. I do not vanish. I have never once cancelled on somebody without giving them the real reason.
I know this post is charmless. I have written the charming version several times and it attracted exactly the people I am complaining about. If it puts you off, fine. I am not trying to be liked by the whole board, only by the small number of people who read it and thought, correctly, that it was not about them.