BDSM personals in Los Angeles
Los Angeles has plenty of people and a lot of freeway between them. The board reflects it: almost every post here mentions where the writer is, because a match across the county can mean a ninety minute drive each way and people would rather say so up front than find out at the third message. The culture is open and the flake rate is high, which is why so many posts here are blunt about wanting someone who actually turns up.
Posts come from the Westside, the Valley, downtown, the South Bay and the east side. People lead with where they are for a reason.
Dominants in Los Angeles
People looking to lead, and saying what that means to them.
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Three people did not turn up in June, so this post is blunt
Looking for: an adult who can keep an arrangement made four days earlier
Fifteen years, and my patience is now a finite resource.
Three separate people arranged to meet me in June and none of them came. One sent a message an hour afterwards. Two sent nothing at all. I sat in three different coffee places on three different afternoons like an idiot, and I have decided the only useful response is to be rude about it in public.
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Sixty seven, and I run things the way I always have
Looking for: a submissive who prefers ceremony to spectacle
Thirty one years. Two long arrangements, the second of twenty.
My arrangement of twenty years ended when he died, three years ago this month. I am not writing that to be pitied. I am writing it because I have finally reached the point where the alternative to trying again is a very quiet decade, and I am not ready for that.
Submissives in Los Angeles
People looking to submit, on terms they set out first.
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Sub in the Valley, and I have stopped pretending the drive is nothing
Looking for: someone on this side of the hill, or someone honest about that
Nine years, two dynamics, one of them ended in traffic.
I added it up once, which was a mistake. Over five months I spent something close to sixty hours in a car driving to see someone on the far side of the county, and maybe eleven hours actually in a room with her. When I say the distance ended it, I mean the arithmetic did.
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I want this mostly in writing, and the geography is exactly why
Looking for: a dominant willing to run most of it at a distance
Eight years, one four year dynamic conducted largely by letter.
I live forty minutes past where most people on this board think the county ends. Anybody who wants to see me in person twice a week is going to hate their life inside a month, and so am I, so I have stopped asking for that.
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Trans, submissive, and the second question is always the same
Looking for: somebody whose curiosity is about me rather than my body
Four years, mostly good, occasionally exhausting.
The first message is usually warm. The second message is almost always a question about my body, phrased as though it were a practical matter and not what it obviously is. I have answered it politely something like forty times and I have stopped.
Switches in Los Angeles
People who go both ways and want a partner who can follow.
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I need three coffees before anything, and most people leave after one
Looking for: somebody with the patience for a slow beginning
Six years, both sides, and one bad evening that set the pace.
I meet people three times, in public, in daylight, before anything else happens. Not twice. Not once, followed by a long conversation about how we are both adults. Three times. Most people here find that excessive and about half of them say so and leave, which is fine, because the process is doing precisely what I built it to do.
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I do not drive, at all, and in this city that is the headline
Looking for: somebody who understands that I will always be the one arriving late
Five years, three dynamics, all within a bus ride.
I have epilepsy and I do not have a license, and in this city that is not a small detail. It is the first three paragraphs of my life. Everything I do is planned around a timetable that somebody else set.
Couples in Los Angeles
Partners searching together, with both of them in the post.
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One of us works nights, so our only shared evening is Tuesday
Looking for: another couple or a single person who can work with one evening
Six years together, four with this in it, no meetings yet.
He works nights in a hospital. I work days in an office. Our life together happens on Tuesday evenings and in the hour each morning when he comes home and I am putting my shoes on. We have been doing this for four years and we are, oddly, very happy.
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She leads in this house, and we want to meet a couple like us
Looking for: another couple where the woman leads, for friendship and comparison
Fifteen years together, twelve of them with her in charge.
Every couple we have met in three years has had the same shape. Him leading, her following, and a set of assumptions about us that has to be corrected within twenty minutes of sitting down. Usually by him, to me, cheerfully, while my wife watches.
Writing your own
Reading fifty of these is the easy half. The handbook covers the rest.
- Writing a profile that says something
- Photographs, and staying anonymous enough
- The safety basics, in one page
- What a first meeting is actually like
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Write yours in Los Angeles
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