An independent field handbook · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

BDSM Dating

The practical handbook for meeting kinky partners, online and off

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Submissives the east side, Los Angeles

Trans, submissive, and the second question is always the same

Posted as the_second_question

Looking for
somebody whose curiosity is about me rather than my body
Experience
Four years, mostly good, occasionally exhausting.
Around
the east side, Los Angeles

The first message is usually warm. The second message is almost always a question about my body, phrased as though it were a practical matter and not what it obviously is. I have answered it politely something like forty times and I have stopped.

Thirty, the east side, trans man, submissive, four years in. Six years on this coast, none of them anywhere I was not out. What I want is a dominant who is normal about it. Not celebratory, not so careful he cannot speak, not interested in me as a category. Somebody who asks what I like being called and then simply calls me that. It is a low bar and I have watched a striking number of experienced people walk straight into it.

The dynamic I want is a long one. Protocol I can hold in my head at work. Tasks. Somebody exacting about small things and entirely uninterested in humiliating me about my body, which is a boundary I resent having to state in public and state anyway.

I am on the east side, I will drive anywhere on this half of the county without complaining, and I will not do the Westside on a weekday evening, because I have tried and I arrived furious every time.

Do not write to tell me you have never been with someone like me but you are open minded. I believe you. I am not a first experience and I am not a question anybody gets to work out on.

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