I need three coffees before anything, and most people leave after one
Posted as the_third_coffee
- Looking for
- somebody with the patience for a slow beginning
- Experience
- Six years, both sides, and one bad evening that set the pace.
- Around
- the Westside, Los Angeles
I meet people three times, in public, in daylight, before anything else happens. Not twice. Not once, followed by a long conversation about how we are both adults. Three times. Most people here find that excessive and about half of them say so and leave, which is fine, because the process is doing precisely what I built it to do.
Thirty three, the Westside, switch, six years in. I built it after an evening four years ago that went wrong in a way I had no framework for, with somebody who had been perfectly pleasant for eleven days and was not on the twelfth. I am not going to describe it and I am not carrying it around like a wound. I simply changed how I do things.
What I want is a long dynamic with somebody who can go both ways, weighted slightly toward me following, and a lot of ordinary time in it. I am funny in person and much stiffer in writing, which I am aware is the wrong way round for a personals board.
The three meetings are not a test of your patience or an obstacle course. They are how long it takes me to relax, and I have noticed that people irritated by them are frequently people I was glad to have avoided.
If you want to meet tonight we are not going to work, and I hope you have a genuinely good time.