Open for ten years, we look separately, and we wrote this together
Posted as we_search_separately
- Looking for
- a submissive for one of us, with the other entirely in the picture
- Experience
- Twenty six years together, ten of them open, several long dynamics.
- Around
- the Westside, Los Angeles
We have been married twenty six years and open for ten of them. We do not search as a unit and we are not offering a package. We are two people with separate dynamics who happen to share a house, a mortgage and a calendar we are both scrupulous about.
Fifty three and fifty five, the Westside. This post is for a dynamic with one of us. Him, dominant, currently unattached after a four year arrangement ended amicably in the winter. She is not part of it beyond knowing everything, which is not negotiable, and being somebody you meet reasonably early so that you are not a secret inside your own arrangement.
We are posting together because in ten years we have learned that the people it goes wrong with are the ones who liked the idea of an open marriage in theory and found the reality of another actual person unbearable. Seeing us both write in the same paragraph tends to sort that out early.
What he wants is ongoing, structured and slow. One evening a week to begin with, expectations in between, and a proper conversation about how it is going every few months.
The thing that has never worked for us is somebody who wanted to be a secret, or who quietly hoped to become the main event. We are not fragile about being asked. We are immovable about the answer.