Single mother, two free evenings a month, and that is the truth
Posted as when_my_mother_visits
- Looking for
- somebody who can build something real out of very little time
- Experience
- Nine years, both sides, and three years entirely on pause.
- Around
- the South Bay, Los Angeles
My mother comes over on the second and fourth Friday of the month and stays with my child. That is when I am free. Not usually. Not most weeks. Twice a month, on days I cannot move, and if she is unwell that month I have nothing at all.
Thirty nine, the South Bay, switch, nine years in and three of them spent doing none of it, because my life had no room in it. I am not going to apologize for this and I am also not going to pretend it works for everybody. Two evenings a month is very little. What I can promise is that those two evenings get my whole attention, planned in advance, without the phone checking and half presence that people complain about.
What I want is something that continues between them. Messages, expectations, small things I do in the weeks in between that keep it alive. Without that, twice a month is just two pleasant evenings with a stranger, and I have had enough of those.
I switch, and honestly, after two weeks of being the only adult making every decision in a household, which way I lean depends entirely on how the month has gone. A person who can read that and adjust is worth more to me than any particular skill.
I will not introduce anybody to my child. Not in a year, not in five. That is settled and it says nothing about how I feel about you.