He wants a dominant woman and I will be there, watching, not joining
Posted as i_will_be_in_the_room
- Looking for
- a dominant woman for him, with me present and not participating
- Experience
- Twenty three years married, three years since he told me.
- Around
- the 7th, Lyon
Three years ago my husband told me something he had been carrying since before we met. I took several months and a great deal of reading, and where we have arrived is this. He can have it, with somebody else, and I will be in the room.
We are forty seven and forty nine, the 7th, married twenty three years. I am writing because he cannot describe himself without apologising in every sentence, which you would find exhausting and which I have decided to spare you.
My presence is the unusual part and I want to explain it properly rather than have it sound like surveillance. I am not participating. I am not submissive, I am not curious, and I have no interest in being included. I am there because it is the only arrangement in which I am comfortable, and because after three years of talking that is the honest answer rather than a compromise either of us resents. I will read, mostly. He knows I am there and it matters to him that I am.
What he wants is structure rather than anything dramatic. Rules, service, being held to a standard, an evening a fortnight or so. He is patient, extremely reliable, and considerably more interesting than he will let on in the first hour.
Not looking for a woman who wants me involved at any level. Not looking for anyone who finds the arrangement odd enough to want to discuss it at length, though one conversation is entirely fair. Not looking for anything outside our home at first, and not looking for somebody who would want that to change quickly.